Failing at work to win at motherhood

Recently, a GP in England was suspended for five months after falsifying patient appointments so she could leave on time to pick up her children. Dr Helen Eisenhauer, a mother of two working in Nottingham, had already seen the patients by phone earlier in the day but booked them again in person at the end of her shift — purely to avoid being late for childcare commitments. When discovered, she admitted her actions at a tribunal and accepted she had acted dishonestly.

On the face of it, this sounds like a straightforward disciplinary matter; a doctor broke rules and must face consequences. But peel back one layer, and it reveals a much deeper societal problem: we have designed our workplaces and professional expectations in ways that force parents, especially mothers, into impossible choices.

Arguably, Dr Eisenhauer could have chosen to work part time. However, as a GP in the UK’s overburdened National Health Service (NHS), she was likely juggling a relentless workload. The NHS has been plagued by staff shortages, long waiting lists, and burnout among healthcare professionals for years. Doctors are expected to be available at a moment’s notice, with little flexibility for family life.

Working parents everywhere know the panic of the clock striking school pickup time while still, somehow, finishing work obligations. This isn’t an isolated issue. On the contrary, it is symptomatic of a society that values continuous work output over family wellbeing.

Across the UK (and many other countries), traditional working structures still assume that someone else is raising the children (often women), that late finishes or inflexible schedules are acceptable, and that any deviation from working norms is a sign of lack of professionalism.

Parents don’t get to “pause” family responsibilities. School pick-ups, nursery drop-offs, sick children, and after-school care are as fixed as any work shift. Yet workplaces often refuse to adapt. Those working in nurseries and childcare settings also suffer, with late pick-ups (often unpaid) placing additional pressure on early years staff and their own family lives.

When a GP feels her only option to meet both work and family obligations is to tweak her appointment diary, that should set off alarm bells — not just at an individual level, but at a societal one. Because when we fail to support working parents, the children pay.

They pay through stressed, sleep-deprived parents trying to hold together too many conflicting demands; through the implicit message that work comes first and family second; and through the normalisation of guilt and burnout as part of everyday life.

Instead of designing systems that help parents thrive — such as flexible scheduling, job sharing, robust and properly funded childcare support, and a culture that truly respects family time — we cling to outdated models where presence equals productivity. Children are rushed from one place to another with no time to fully immerse themselves in childhood. The ensuing tantrums and bad moods are often soothed with screens so that exhausted parents can make supper, or simply find a moment of headspace.

Policies like flexible working hours exist on paper, but in practice they are often undermined by understaffing, unrealistic targets, and fear of repercussions. The other stark reality is that people need to work as many hours as they can simply to pay the bills. While Eisenhauer’s suspension might deter similar actions, it does nothing to address the root cause: a societal structure that devalues caregiving. In the UK, childcare remains among the most underfunded in Europe.

Where is the natural rhythm of life — where children were part of work and learned from doing? Now they are becoming increasingly institutionalised at ever earlier ages. Working people are increasingly enslaved to a system which, ironically, is supposed to be helping them. Dr Eisenhauer’s tax bill is probably contributing far more to society than she is currently benefiting from herself. Maybe, after five months, she’ll decide it simply isn’t worth it. Let’s hope not.

Research shows that consistent parental involvement leads to better emotional development, academic performance, and overall wellbeing in children. Yet in a world where both parents often need to work full-time just to make ends meet, that involvement is increasingly sacrificed. Eisenhauer’s children may have benefited from her timely pick-ups, but now, with her suspension, the family faces financial strain and uncertainty — ripples that could affect their stability for months.